I was having a discussion with a friend about whether it was
fair for me to not have my stuff. I
later remembered something I once read and had made note of. Studying in the book of Job my notes mention
that most people think that there is a standard called “Fairness” which is
above God and which God must answer to.
In reality, there is nothing above God.
Therefore, one should say that whatever God does is “Fair”. We may not know why God does it or why He
feels it is right, but the fact remains that there is no higher authority than
God. If we are in His will then we must
understand that whatever He does is good and right by His standards. I described it to Joe a few weeks ago like
this:
“If we were to watch a great artist paint a picture, he
might put a daub of color here on one part of the canvas, and another the same
elsewhere on the canvas, then daub a second color over the first and a third
color over the second. We, as onlookers,
might question the sanity of the artist.
However, we cannot see what is going on in the mind of the artist and we
cannot foresee the painting he is slowly bringing to the canvas. In the same way, we cannot understand the
mind of God and see the great work that He is putting together using us as His
medium. Can the paint judge the
painter? Or, as Isaiah says, can the
clay judge the Potter? No.”
In the same way, I have to accept that God has seen fit to
remove from me some of my excess baggage.
I can tell you this, that if I did indeed have ALL my former possessions,
it would require a large U-Haul van plus a flatbed semi-trailer to haul it
all. I would also need a place to keep
it, safely out of the weather and safe from thieves. And I’m not exaggerating; I had a lot of junk
including tools and cars and farm equipment and guns and books. Honestly, my biggest worry about all this
stuff now is that the firearms might be misused and the fact of my ownership of
them come back to bite me. I’m far
better off without all that excess baggage.
And my health, even my feet; I have to accept that God knows
what He is doing. I have been thankful
for generally good health, I've always been thankful that the worst chronic
ailments I have had were asthma and some arthritis, I have always been thankful
that I haven’t had high blood pressure or diabetes or something like that, and
that after 6 years of not smoking the health effects of 20 years of smoking
have been minimal (so far). And I am
learning something about having my foot paralyzed: My grandson can easily keep up with me
without running. I can walk with a group
of people without having to continually stop and let them catch up. Is there a lesson here for me? I think so!
No, I must accept that God knows what He is doing. I have no idea what He has in store for me,
but I can be confident that He knows; that He has a plan.
One of the things I learned during the last three weeks was
who I am. Something that has been
bothering me terribly over the past year was my identity. I have always identified myself by my family and
my work, and when those were stripped away I lost it. I asked myself “Who am I?” but I had no answer. I asked God “Who am I?” but I didn’t get an
answer. Now I am beginning to understand
that “Whose am I?” is really the proper question. If I belong to God and He is in control then
I am a Child of the King, a Prince of the Kingdom, a future Ruler of the Earth;
and I am currently in training. Someday,
after I graduate from this life, I will be ready for my job. In the meantime, I will study my lessons and
try to get a 4.0 GPA. It is not my job
to make a Plan for the future; the Master Planner has The Plan, and has a place
for me in it. All my life including last
year and where and what I am doing right now is part of His Plan.
Would I like to have some of the stuff? Well, yes and
no. And this seems to be the next
lesson. The 10th commandment is
"Thou shalt not covet." And
what I'm beginning to learn is that I've been coveting. When I say "I want" or "I
need" that means I am coveting something.
As near as I can tell, because God is a jealous lover, the only thing I
am allowed to want is more of Him, and He expects me to allow Him to supply
everything He wants to give me. This may
be the hardest lesson of all.
Hebrews 13:5 says “Let your conduct be without covetousness;
be content with such things as you have.
For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
(NKJV) I have to hold on to that: He will be with me, and He can do what He
says He can do; He will supply my every need; He promised it and He keeps His
promises.
I do know one thing, and that one thing is all the answer I
need: God knows what He is doing. Sure, I still question the answer, and I
still cry out to God for mercy and to give me hope to hang on to. Odds are fairly good that I will have periods
of terrible doubting. But I am still His
child, still grafted on His tree, still abiding in His home, and I have to hang
on to that.
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