Sometime again

I don't really quite want to say "goodbye", because that implies finality.

I've decided I need some space to heal and get back on my feet.  Over the last few months I've noticed that when I'm around family and friends and familiar locations I tend to get and stay rather depressed because of all the memories.  The only times I've been able to make any progress are those few weeks when I've been able to get out of the area and be forced to focus on doing new and different things.  And then as soon as I return it doesn't take much to rip the scabs off and start things bleeding again.

So, I'm leaving Minnesota.  Sure, someday, Lord willing, I will get back for short visits, but that probably won't be for quite a while.  I'm going to start over, make some new friends, learn some new habits, see some new places, make some new memories to lay over the old ones, let the wounds heal.

I think it was Alfred Bester that said something like "The mind goes back, but time goes on, and farewells should be forever".  For some friends, this farewell may be forever, because it is probably the only way that my wounds might heal.   I hate to say it, but the wounds aren't healing.  I think they are and then a memory gets stirred and they break out anew.  But I am really hoping that those "forever farewells" will be in the minority (maybe none???), and maybe in a few years we will will be able to renew our friendship.  I really do hope so, but I can't see that far in the future.  Right now, I can only see that today I am starting a new day, and I have my entire life ahead of me, and I need to get busy living it.

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
The rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

And may we meet sometime again in friendship and trust.

Earle

Out

Well, after 20 days as a guest of Itasca County I'm now back on the outside.  This morning when the sheriff woke me at 6 AM he asked why I wasn't ready.  I told him there were several reasons: my calendar (in my head) was off a day; and besides, why would I want to leave?  3 hots and a cot; it could be a lot worse.  On the outside I have to decide what to eat, what to wear, and where to sleep.  On the inside I eat when and where I'm told, sleep when and where I'm told, wear what I'm told (hot pink underclothes and fluorescent orange shirt and pants and sandals).  On the plus side, there's a bit more privacy on the outside (zero privacy on the inside).

So now, I have 3 major problems: Address, Job, Transportation (in alphabetical order).  I need a place to live to get a job; I need a job to get a place to live, and I need reliable and economical transportation to and from work and home.  And this has become imperative.  I'm down to my last few pennies and night time temps are dropping below 0 degrees Fahrenheit; it is quite probable that if I go to sleep at these temps that I won't awaken.

Please, say a few prayers for me and if you hear of something please, drop me a note.