I no longer have my library of C.S. Lewis, but had a
reminder of this a few weeks ago and it was again brought to my mind this
morning. In "Voyage of the Dawn
Treader", Eustace becomes a dragon, and Aslan (to severely condense the
story) rescues him. As part of the
rescue, Eustace keeps trying to shed the dragon's skin, and it hurts terribly
when he does, but underneath the old skin he remains a dragon until he finally
allows Aslan to remove the skin. It
hurts even worse than before, but when Aslan removes the skin he is no longer a
dragon, but a new person.
I'm seeing, maybe even really beginning to understand, that
I DO NOT have the power to release all these things. Only God has the power. It is an act of grace: (Eph 2:8-9 NKJV) For by grace you have been saved through
faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest
anyone should boast.
"Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"
And I'm sitting here thinking, Lord, don't I even get to
keep just a little bit of me? Just one itsy
bitsy dream? And he answers:
"No!".
(Jer 17:9-10 NKJV)
"The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked;
Who can know it? I, the LORD, search the
heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According
to the fruit of his doings.
I need a heart transplant!
If my heart is deceitful and wicked (and I know that it is), then I need
the heart of Christ in me.
So, as it says in John 15, God is doing some more
pruning. I must admit, on the one hand I
am getting really tired of it; my head and eyes are sore from weeping; on the
other hand, I don't dare stop having gone so far.
(Micah 7:7-8; 18-19 NIV) (7) But as for me, I watch in hope
for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. (8) Do not gloat over
me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the
LORD will be my light. (18) Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives
the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry
forever but delight to show mercy. (19) You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths
of the sea.
Amen! Even so, come,
Lord Jesus!
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