Forward

Gotta keep reminding myself to look forward. I think that part of my problem is that all I can do right now is wait. I can do almost nothing until 9/21, and until that is settled I have no way to look past that date.

What I need is a diversion. What can I do between now and 9/21? Something to keep me occupied. I can't exercise any of my hobbies, Betty has my library and my guitars and my rifles and my reloading equipment and my swords and my music and my records and my woodworking tools and my mechanics tools and my tractor and my pickup and my wagon and my Ventura and my bicycle and...well, you get the idea (although why she won't let me have any of it escapes my reasoning, she can't use any of it). And my attention span on the PC is very short right now, and if I run into a computer problem I get frustrated really fast. I still need to relax some more. The only thing I have is the car, and I don't have gas or insurance for it right now, so I can't take it for a drive or go to Bemidji or Duluth or someplace different. I would try doing some wood carving, but my pocket knife is very dull and Betty won't let me have my knife sharpener (again, why? Is it just spite? Dog in the manger?).

Somehow I need to figure out how to do nothing and enjoy it, but when I'm doing nothing then my mind starts going, and when I run out of "forward" space I start to focus on the rear view mirror again.

I need something to dooo!!!!!!!! before I go any crazier than I already am.